


Come on in, the water's lovely

by fiireside



Category: Arctic Monkeys, Last Shadow Puppets
Genre: Angst, Bubble Bath, Getting Back Together, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-07
Updated: 2020-01-07
Packaged: 2021-02-27 07:54:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,382
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22163644
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fiireside/pseuds/fiireside
Summary: Miles hasn't been feeling like himself lately, so Alex runs them a bath.
Relationships: Miles Kane/Alex Turner
Comments: 13
Kudos: 69





	Come on in, the water's lovely

**Author's Note:**

> this got really sad? sorry lmao it has a happy ending but it ran away from me and became this. enjoy

“Miles?”

Alex’s voice comes ringing around the corner, into the bedroom where Miles rests. In the dark. In the early evening, in bed, where he’s been most of the day.

It’s not completely unusual for Miles to get in a mood like this, but it surely isn’t comforting that the storm still has yet to pass. Christmas and New Year’s came and went in the blink of an eye, and even seeing his mother and family didn’t pull him out of this funk he’s fallen into. He’s been in and out of moods like this one since early autumn, bogged down by a heavy weight he can’t quite explain and can’t quite shake off himself. The cold, gloomy English winter doesn’t help. Alex doesn’t really help either.

“In here,” Miles says as loudly as he can muster, listening to Alex’s footsteps approach. He rolls to face the door at the same time Alex pushes it further open, peeking around with concern etched into his face. He doesn’t say anything and waits for Alex to approach.

Alex doesn’t. He stands in the doorway, shifting his weight from foot to foot, tugging at the hem of his shirt. “Are you hungry?” he eventually asks. “I can make you something if—”

“I’m not,” Miles grumbles. He hears Alex sigh. He still doesn’t say anything more. Alex has been here since a few days after New Year’s, or rather, Miles has been _here_ since then, as he’s in Alex’s flat, Alex’s bed. His own house doesn’t feel quite like home these days, and even though he feels like a truck ran over him, he couldn’t resist Alex’s offer to come stay with him.

But Alex hasn’t been helping. It’s not solely because of anything he’s been doing, or even anything he’s done. Miles is just… not doing well. And he doesn’t know what to say, and that’s so out of character it scares him almost as much as it clearly scares Alex.

“Okay,” Alex says softly. “Miles, I… I don’t… what do you need? I can’t bear to see you like this.”

Miles closes his eyes and presses his face further into the pillow he’s resting on. His eyes are watering up again, something about the desperate tone of Alex’s voice tugs at his heart. Before he can say anything, Alex has come over and sat down on the edge of the bed beside Miles, reaching a hand out slowly to brush Miles’ hair back.

“Sorry,” Miles breathes out as Alex’s fingers continue combing through the blond locks on the top of his head, thumb brushing over the shaved sides. It feels nice.

Alex stops suddenly, standing and walking out and into the bathroom. The door shuts behind him and Miles hears water start running. The tears that were brimming in his eyes spill over now, running in straight lines down his cheeks. He barely even notices them. But then his breathing hitches, and he makes a sound too close to a sob, and just as he starts to let himself go, the bathroom door reopens. The light beams onto the bed and onto his face, and he can tell from Alex’s expression he’s been found out. His heart sinks.

“Oh, love,” Alex practically exhales, rushing over to sit by Miles’ side again. “Hey, it’s okay – Miles? You’re alright.”

Miles just reaches up and puts his hands over his face, willing himself to calm the fuck down. He forces himself to breathe evenly, letting Alex’s voice wrap around him and soak up the angst spilling out of his every pore. He doesn’t even hear the words Alex is saying anymore, just hears the cadence and sound of his voice, more comforting in and of itself than anything Alex could possibly say. After a small eternity, he feels put together enough to take his hands off his face and look Alex in the eye.

He’s both surprised and not surprised to find Alex is a bit teary eyed now, staring down at Miles with so much worry on his face it makes his heart feel like a brick in the middle of his chest. “Hey,” he says, lifting a hand to cup Alex’s cheek.

“Miles…,” Alex says softly, brushing his thumb over the top of Miles’ cheek, holding their eye contact for a long moment. “Fuck,” he says abruptly, startling Miles. “Shit, the bath.”

He jumps back up and dashes into the bathroom, and the sound of running water stops sharply, leaving a hollow silence ringing through Miles ears. “Al?” he asks, sitting up. Alex comes back with a sheepish look on his face.

“I started a bath for – us, for you,” he explains. “But I forgot about it. Nearly just flooded my flat.”

Miles snorts. “Feel like that’d have been my fault,” he says. Alex shakes his head and comes back, taking one of Miles’ hands and gently tugging him out of bed.

“C’mon,” he urges. “You’ve been in bed all day. Please. It’ll help, I promise.”

Miles smiles weakly, but lets Alex guide him out of bed and into the bathroom. Alex tugs his grey t-shirt Miles adores off and reaches down for his own belt, stopping when he realizes Miles is just staring at him. He smirks and continues, stripping himself quickly and immediately moving towards Miles, tugging open the buttons of his fancy pajamas one by one, looking up at Miles as he does so. “Been a while since you’ve let me do this,” he murmurs as he smoothly runs his hands up Miles’ chest and tugs his shirt down and off his arms. Miles doesn’t look away as Alex goes on, untying his pajama pants and pushing them off his hips, leaving him as naked as Alex, the two of them just standing toe to toe in the middle of Alex’s bathroom. Alex’s hands on him fill him with warmth, but not the kind that makes him want to push Alex against the wall and press their mouths together. Rather the kind that makes him want to wrap himself around Alex like an octopus and never let go. But he doesn’t let himself give in to that urge, that warmth spreading through his veins, contrasting against the cold tile beneath his feet, the chill air around them.

Alex is the one to break the moment. He steps back, twisting his fingers in Miles’ as he does so, and leads them into the tub. Miles only just notices Alex's phone on the counter softly playing music, the candles and dimmed lights, and bubbles filling the tub to the brim - a setup so romantic and kind it makes Miles' heart twist. Especially combined with the look on Alex's face presently. He steps in first and then reaches for Miles, making it clear how he wants them to be arranged in the water. Miles goes pliantly, sinking into the hot water and leaning onto Alex’s chest, watching Alex’s legs shift in the water around his, feeling Alex’s arms wrap around his stomach as if to hold him in place. Alex presses his chin into the crook of Miles’ neck, mouth pressed lightly against the skin, and just breathes. Miles can feel his breath on his skin, can feel the rise and fall of Alex’s chest against his back. The scent of lavender filling his nose grounds him. The hot water makes him feel like a person. Alex’s proximity sends the vice of sadness away for a brief moment.

Neither of them say anything for a while. Miles leans back and lets his weight rest on Alex, relaxing into Alex’s touch. His fingers draw small circles against Miles’ abs, and every so often he presses a small kiss to wherever he can reach. It is him once again who has to break the silence.

“Do you feel any better?” Alex asks. Miles slowly opens his eyes, shrugging dismissively. “Miles,” Alex practically pleads. “Please, Mi… you have to talk to me.”

“I’m sorry,” Miles echoes. Alex’s arms tighten around him. “I don’t know what to say.”

“Is it me?” Alex asks. Miles breathes out shakily.

“I don’t know, Al,” he says. “It’s just not been easy lately. With or without you.”

Alex doesn’t say anything. The sole of his foot brushes against Miles’ ankle and his nose now presses against the back of Miles’ shoulder. “Should I be sorry?” Alex asks quietly.

Miles groans and leans forward, breaking Alex’s hold on him. He feels Alex shift and the water ripple around him as he does so. “I don’t know,” he says again. “I… I thought I’d put myself back together. After – after you performed at my show in Paris, only to turn around and leave with someone else. I thought I’d gotten over you, Al. But I didn’t. And I can’t take it.”

“Miles…”

“I thought I’d rebuilt my life and made it so you hadn’t left such a gaping hole, but I – you’re everywhere I go, Alex. You’re everywhere and nowhere and it feels like I’ll never be able to untangle myself from you,” he rambles. “And I don’t want to. But I have to.”

“Why?” Alex interjects. “Miles, I already – I thought I made it clear. I’m single. Well, I mean, I’d like to think I’m not, now that you’re here, but the point is I’m _here_ and I want – I want you.”

“I know,” Miles mumbles. “But Alex, you… you hurt me terribly over the last year. And I missed you so much. And I hated myself for it, for feeling so strung onto you and so… like I’m reliant on you.”

“You’re not, baby,” Alex assures him, tentatively leaning forward so they’re closer together. Miles doesn’t react. “Miles, please—”

“It’s just—,” Miles starts, cutting him off. He sighs and then starts over. “Having you here doesn’t just make it go away. I don’t know… I don’t know how to explain it. I’m so happy you’re here, Al, but part of me is still mourning losing you, and… and I can’t make it stop. I just keep seeing you and being reminded of the whole of this last year, and I’m still scared you’ll do it again. I’m scared I won’t be able to put myself together again, if it feels like I couldn’t even do it right the first time.”

Alex is silent. Miles can practically see the pensive frown on his face, and he’s glad they aren’t looking at each other. That look Alex gets when Miles says something that makes him sad makes him melt into anything Alex wants. Anything he perceives Alex wants. God, he’s so weak for Alex.

“Mi,” Alex starts. “I – I’m sorry, okay? I hope you know I was hurting just as much, and I’m… I’m not trying to make excuses, I know this was my fault, but – I missed you, too. I still miss you. It doesn’t feel like you’re here with me, and… I don’t know how to get you back. I’m scared, too, Miles, but I want you to – I need you to know how serious I am about this. About _you_.”

Miles does turn to face him then, taking in his hair falling angelically over his face, his full bottom lip pouting out, huge eyes trained down into the bubbles as he shifts uncomfortably. He glances up and sees Miles looking at him. “What can I do?” Alex asks. The emotion in his voice and longing dripping from his eyes pierces through Miles.

“I don’t know,” he says. “I just need time, Al.”

Alex bites his lip and nods and Miles suddenly hates himself. Now that he’s said all of what’s been eating at him it feels like it doesn’t even matter – he hears how ridiculous it sounds to be grieving Alex’s exit from his life when Alex is literally inches away from him, apparently all his this time. He knows he’s not making any sense, but it’s the truth. He’s been stuck in this rut driven by losing Alex for months, unable to write music, unable to find enjoyment in anything – recording, going out, touring, spending time with people that are _his_ friends – but it doesn’t matter anymore. It shouldn’t matter anymore. Miles fully understood Alex’s intent and hope behind inviting him here, and it’s everything he wants. But it still hurts having him this close when his brain feels like it’s been sunk in wine, all of his thoughts slowed down and saddened. It hurts having him so close when all he can think about is him going away, leaving him by his lonesome once more as he frolics the world in someone else’s arms.

“I love you,” Miles says as he turns so his body is facing Alex, their legs bracketing each other. The water has started to go cold around them and his eyes get stuck on the goosebumps raising on Alex’s arms instead of his face.

Alex doesn’t let him stay there, though. His hand is suddenly beneath Miles’ chin, tilting his face up so he’s looking Alex in the eye, and he feels like he’s going to start crying again. He _is_ going to start crying again. “I love you,” Alex whispers, sliding his arm around to place his hand lightly on the back of Miles’ neck. “Are we okay?”

Miles nods, and the tears spill over. “Yeah,” he breathes. Alex exhales relievedly and uses his grip to pull Miles’ face towards his, kissing him so gently it barely even feels like a kiss. Miles sinks into it instantly, hands coming up to cup Alex’s face, as if to hold him there and keep him from slinking away again. When they part, Alex is smiling that bright smile that hits his eyes and fills out his cheeks. That smile Miles would do anything to see. 

“So I'm _not_ single then?” Alex murmurs, tangling his fingers into Miles’ hair.

”Absolutely not,” Miles practically growls against his mouth, pushing him back against the ceramic of the tub and kissing him again, pinning him down with his own body weight and incidentally splashing some of the water over the edges of the tub. He can't help the smile that comes across his face when he hears Alex giggle. Alex isn’t going anywhere, and Miles finally is starting to believe it.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for readinnggg


End file.
